Making that big decision to quit is not easy.
It is perplexing why women who are beaten by their husbands return to their abuser. It seems the best solution for the wife would be to leave the toxic environment and find a place of safety, especially if children are involved. It is my understanding abused women linger in the relationship due to low self-esteem, self-blame and depression. The quality of life outside the abusive home is a big question mark and the fear can be paralyzing. The abuser can be a charming con-artist who fools the outside world that he would never be abusive.
Employees in abusive employment situations are not that different.
A psychologically abused employee will question the quality of life outside their toxic work environment. Will work-life be better somewhere else? Maybe it is my fault the boss berates me in front of my coworkers, thinks the confused employee. It is hard to imagine life outside of their current company. Mortgage payments and bills continue to arrive and force us to work in unmanageable situations.
We are not a nation of quitters. The act of quitting will not be found in the latest motivational best seller or seminar. Leaving a toxic boss and work culture, on the other hand, may be exactly what you need to do when the odds are stacked against you.
Learning this important career lesson was difficult.
It is not in my nature to quit. My inclination is to hang on and try to reverse a bad workplace situation. Helping organizations dissolve toxic environments is encoded in my DNA. Working for or dealing with workplace bullies, overly aggressive Type A’s, passive aggressive Type B’s, brutal alpha males and females, corporate assholes and outright jerks has had a sadistic hold on me.
Even in the midst of misery I seek to solve problems. It does not pay, however, to play Dr. Phil at work.
An abused spouse cannot reform their partner.
Targets of workplace psychopaths will not reform their perpetrator. Don’t get sucked in and feel sorry for the abusive boss and all their mental or emotional problems. Traumatic Bonding and Stockholm Syndrome are very real issues.
According to Dr. Nikolai Bezroukov, Traumatic Bonding, also known as Stockholm Syndrome, may be defined as the development of strong emotional ties between two persons, with one person intermittently harassing, beating, threatening, abusing or intimidating the other.
When the perpetrator is your boss, pay close attention to the detrimental affects on your life.
Staying in your position can cause severe health and family issues. Look at your options. There are companies that have Great Workplace Initiatives who have fired all their jerks and abusers. There is a better place to earn a living and live your life.
Knowing when to quit is an important strategy if you find yourself in a toxic work environment or abusive employment situation.
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